Nostomnia 😪

It's 02:07 and I can't sleep. I thought that my insomniac nights are over but apparently not. My mind isn't racing like it used too, I have better control over my thoughts than I ever had. It's more like there's a steady energy level that doesn't seem to stagger.

I do get tired and falling asleep is as easy as it's ever been. But once fallen asleep, I don't actually sleep, I'm inert but my energy levels keep me awake. And when I realise that trying to sleep is no use, I leave the bed—usually around midnight—to take my blanket and pillow and wander to the living room and try the couch. I invest myself in a new insomnia hobby: playing No Man's Sky on Nintendo Switch, which is very soothing to my mind. I explore foreign planets, scan alien life forms, mine minerals and walk on planetary surfaces as my thermal protection keeps on falling, as announced by a female robotic voice. I love this game as it sets me back in time to when my website was born, a time, 3 years ago, equally dominated by insomnia.

Once more, I had believed that I had gotten a better grip on this disease. I had believed that I broke the cycle of the inspiring good phases, that were all about writing, being productive and exploring my mind, which in exchange I paid for with sleepless nights. They were alternating with the bad phases, that were defined by inertia, apathy and a chaotic mind which in turn allowed me to sleep like a log.

Insomnia's still with me. All I can really do is play No Man's Sky and be thankful for every hour of sleep I can get, once I put away my Switch, plug in my earphones and rest for a while, podcast running.