Did I break writing again? 💣

I feel very much okay.

Life's not so bad right now: Spring has finally arrived, I spend a lot of time with friends, I get plenty of exercise and being without a job has its positive sides too (mostly not having to work). I expected to feel much worse returning from a months-long trip in Asia to the reality of everyday life. A part of me believes that this is all thanks to my newfound optimistic attitude (I can recommend this). More than anything though, I think I feel so very much okay because I don't have to deal with any bullshit these days—bullshit that my previous job has asked me to deal with all the fucking time. Be it reading annoying emails triggered by random systems in the depths of the corporation, responding to annoying emails to satisfy random systems in the depths of the corporation or doing the typical annoying tasks that were demanded of any corporate worker (time sheets, time sheets and even more time sheets).

I feel very much okay, but still, I sense the presence of something very much not okay: the matter of yet another writer's block. It's back, and I don't know why. Everything I write feels overly dramatic and out of proportion to the way I actually feel. Also, my writing used to be funny. When did I stop being funny?

I wonder whether I broke writing again? Experience has shown that writing actually can't be broken—I just have to be patient—it will come back eventually. But having to deal with the negative sides of being unemployed—mostly having to look for a new job and working through the contradiction of not wanting to use AI but having to because that's what the world apparently demands of me—I miss writing.

Writing is supposed to act as a creative antipode to the tedious bureaucracy of the job hunt. More than that, it's supposed to help me keep a clear mind, while I battle through my doubts of picking up AI as a "friendly helper". So here's to a new attempt of overcoming writer's block, by trying something that has never worked for me in the past: Instead of waiting it out, this time around, I'm forcing it. Let's see if this way, I can regain my ability to write.

If it worked, I wouldn't just feel very much okay. I'd actually feel pretty fucking happy.